My piece shows what it feels like to have invisible disabilities as a student. As someone with ADHD and multiple learning disabilities school has always been immensely difficult. With the use of zoom nowadays I find myself to be particularly affected in my ability to learn and keep up with schoolwork. As ridiculous as it sounds, ADHD legitimately tricks your brain into thinking school or homework is something that can hurt you because it doesn’t feel good. On screen I’m sometimes able to mask all this with a positive attitude and by throwing myself into group discussions but the anxiety it gives me never stops growing and festering. My piece depicts this in the shape of a giant, slightly humanoid ulcer that’s gorging itself on all my adderall referencing how ADHD medication can feel like I’m just throwing them into some bottomless pit. All that being said, I still experience this as a person whose culture generally understands that this is a condition that deserves help and as someone who’s family could afford to pay for doctors and medication. In addition to this, I made the decision to make my skin appear as white as possible to reflect how my lived experience with this has been as a white person. Because of my race, I am more likely to get the benefit of the doubt from teachers who won’t assume that I’m lazy or don’t care about my future whenever I get bad grades, something students of color don’t often get. The reality of this is that my privilege was what gave me a chance to succeed and if I didn’t have those things it’s quite likely I wouldn’t have ever gone to college.
